helplessness..

At some points of life,one realise they cannot do much for others how much they try..and one cannot straighten a wrinkled paper back in to its smooth initial existence..i am passing through such a moment of realization today..
how much one try to conceal his true self,sometimes it peepsout without your knowledge and make you nakedly visible to others..
and the lies you hang on to survive have only a short life.oneday they have to die and you have to become exposed ultimately..

''i remember the way you opened the photograph of your spouse on your cell and told me -"i love her"i know you were telling the truth..but now i know she has already abandoned you long before that..
i remember the way you told me about your days as a kid in convent.how you were ill treated by big boys.how your mother became strict after the death of your father..and i understood the incestual feelings you developed for her from that abandonement..and the deep pain in your reddened hazel eyes under unborn tears..i imagined the way you might havebeen sodomised in your hostel bathrooms..
you slidaway from my path only because you know you cannot hide your true self and pretend to be an unaffected ,easygoing,happy human being..
i havebeen able to empathise with you..thatday..but now after knowing you were searching your mother in prostitutes,i cant even sympathise with you..
you could have trusted me once,if you really wanted..you could have believed in my loyalty and strength..
but now i cannot give you anything more..i am leaving you to that destiny which all of us believe as a faith..just like a mother giving her lovely child back to the grave..but for one last time i would like to say sorry for everything that i couldnt give you...